I was looking for motherhood. I had been longing for it for years. I wanted nothing more than to be a mom to some little girl or boy and I wanted to have this amazing family. My husband and I had been doing all the things you do to try to get pregnant. Seeing specialists, taking tests, having procedures done and taking lots of hormones.
It seemed to be a lost cause. I had been taking hormones for more than 2 years and we were getting into dangerous territory. Any more time on the medication could lead to complications for me and possibly cancer down the road. We didn’t want to take that chance. If God’s answer was no, then it was no and we didn’t want to risk my life trying to do what God didn’t want us to.
Well after failed IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) and all the above mentioned trials we decided that this final month (March 2004) would be the last month we use hormones and if it didn’t work we would move forward with a life without kids or we would look into adoption.
I remember clearly that my heart was downcast and sad at the prospect of never having my own child and sad that I wouldn’t be giving my man a child of his own. I was getting ready to call in my final prescription when I decided to take one more pregnancy test. I knew Mark would be frustrated with me for taking one for no reason but I couldn’t help myself. Why order new medication if I was pregnant right? It was expensive stuff!
After taking the test all I could say was that I was in a state of shock. I sat dumbfounded looking at the stick and remember clearly whispering these words, “There’s a line, there’s never been a line…” I slowly walked out to the other room to show my man and his words were exactly the same. Both of us in disbelief. We had just had this serious conversation about not trying anymore and now there is this line.
Considering we were in such a state of shock and that the test couldn’t possibly be right, I took another test from another box and found the results to be the same. I was amazed, excited and worried all at the same time. What if the tests were wrong??? The only thing to do was buy another test and take another one. Saturday night after church we went and bought another test from a different store and took it home. And just like a big smile from God it showed the same results.
True serendipity through and through. We longed for this little life, but after many years and trials had lost all belief, all hope it would happen, and had absolutely no expectation what-so-ever that God would honor us with such a gift. God is so good. He waits until it will mean the most and then gives the best presents we could ever want. Our Muppin is such a perfect fit to our little family too. We are truly The Three Amigos!
Don’t forget that when you least expect it, God will deliver to you a serendipitous moment you will never forget.
This was written from a prompt from Free Write Friday. The topic was decided by the photo at the top of the page, Serendipity! To join the writing prompt click the button below and it will take you to Free Write Friday’s page.
I loved this! Often we want God to bless us and get caught up in the schematics (hows, whens, whys, whens) and forget that He has the ultimate plan. I love that word “serendipity”. Your Muppin has such a beautiful and infectious smile!
Thanks so much Michelle! God does have the perfect plan! And Muppin’s smile is infectious! We are so blessed! Thanks for coming by!
This is a lovely account of your journey to motherhood … I won’t down that road as well, but we didn’t have the options you were able to use. God knew though that a child was not meant for me in that relationship … things do happen for a reason.
Your Muppin is beautiful and a treasure for you and your husband.
Here is a poem I wrote about my struggles .. I think you will understand.
Cradling me gently in your arms ~ month after month ~ you wipe away my tears©
#micropoetry Annie 3013
Hi Annie! Thanks so much for stopping by. I am sorry you have had the same struggle and you are right, there is always a reason for the timing of God. I love your poem and I have been cradled many times as He wipes my tears away, he is always faithful to do so. God bless friend.
This is beautiful! I didn’t know this about you. God is so good! Thanks for sharing, and thanks for linking up with Fellowship Friday!
Thanks DaLynn! God is good! Thanks for coming by!
Between reading your post and the last one I just read, I feel as though God has his finger pointed at me. But in a good way.
My husband and I have had three miscarries in the last 5 years. I have become settled in the thought that it may never happen for us. It’s hard watching so many around us getting pregnant and trying to fake a smile when they tell us their wonderful news. When all I want to do is break down and cry and ask Him why not me?
You have given me a bit of hope.
Thank you for that. ♥
Kellie
Hi Kellie! There is always hope! Always.
My husband and I tried for so long and the pain of seeing others get pregnant and have children was sometimes more than I could bare. People’s questions of, “When are you having kids?” though well meaning cut deep inside of me. I often felt betrayed or ignored by God, even angry at Him. Guess what?! He is big enough and strong enough to take my pain and anger and not hold it against me.
But in the midst of all that there was still some hope, a glimmer. That is all He needs! My husband and I started a journal long before she was conceived to have a place to pray for her future, for the baby that “would” (through faith) come, the girl she would be and the mighty woman she would grow up to become. That journal has lots of entries in it and will be a testimony to her when she is grown of how when we hope in Him, He always takes care of us. Even if it seems to be taking a long time 😉
I will be praying for you and your husband Kellie, that God pours out his richest blessings into your life. God bless my friend! ♥
Beautiful memories both the tragic and the magic! Thank you, my love!
I love you! ♥♥♥
Thank you for the story of life, and the moments, Carri, cheers..
Thanks Sean! Blessings!
Such a beautiful story and a beautiful girl. You are blessed. Thanks for sharing your joy.
Thank you so much! And thank you for stopping by!
I nominated you for the Liebster award! See the details on my blog here – http://holysplendor.com/i-received-an-award/
Thanks so much DaLynn!!! I am very honored 🙂